
Thirsty Suitors
A breakup simulator wrapped in turn-based battles, rollerskating, and cooking mini-games that somehow coheres into something genuinely weird and worth your time.
GamerScout Verdict
Perfect for players who prioritize character writing and story coherence over combat complexity or length.
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About Thirsty Suitors
I went in expecting a novelty game and left thinking about my own exes for days after finishing. Thirsty Suitors is a narrative-driven RPG where you play a character returning home after a messy relationship, and the combat encounters are literally confrontations with your past lovers. Each battle forces you to respond to their taunts with witty comebacks or genuine apologies, and your dialogue choices shape both the fight outcomes and the story beats that follow. It's Disco Elysium-lite: your character's baggage matters mechanically. The skating segments and cooking challenges (which function like rhythm games) break up the dialogue-heavy moments, though they lean more into charm than depth. Character writing is the real draw here - your family members, exes, and new acquaintances feel lived-in and messy in ways most RPGs don't bother with. If you're tired of power-fantasy narratives and want a game that treats breakup recovery as something worth exploring through weird mechanics, this lands. It's short, focused, and refuses to pad itself.

RPGs
Tags
System Requirements
Minimum
- OS
- Windows 10 / 11
- Processor
- Intel Core i3-2100 or AMD Phenom II X4 965
- Memory
- 6 GB RAM
- Graphics
- NVIDIA GeForce GTX 750 Ti, 2 GB or AMD Radeon HD 6950, 2 GB or Intel…
Recommended
- OS
- Windows 10 / 11
- Processor
- Intel Core i5-3470 or AMD FX-8350
- Memory
- 8 GB RAM
- Graphics
- NVIDIA GeForce GTX 960, 4 GB or AMD Radeon RX 570, 4 GB or In…
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Reviews & Ratings
Game Info
- Developer
- Outerloop Games
- Publisher
- Annapurna Interactive
- Release Date
- Nov 2, 2023


