Warhammer 40,000: Shootas, Blood & Teef

I came into this one skeptical. Run-and-gun platformers have a way of front-loading the fun and coasting on vibes by world two, and anything with a Warhammer license stapled to it can go sideways fast. Shootas, Blood and Teef caught me off guard. Rogueside (the crew behind Guns, Gore and Cannoli) built something that understands what Orks actually are: the franchise's court jesters, loud and dumb and genuinely funny when a game leans into that instead of apologizing for it. The core loop is side-scrolling run-and-gun, left to right with enough vertical layering to keep firefights from feeling completely flat. You pick one of four classes: Flash Git (the gun-obsessed one with a passive that occasionally skips ammo consumption on the Rokkit Launcha, which alone is worth the price of admission), Stormboy (fire-trail dash plus Klusta Bomb cluster grenades, arguably the most aggressive play style), Beast Snagga (mid-range hybrid with an exploding Rokkit Spear that pins enemies to walls), and Weirdboy (crowd-control psyker with stun abilities). All four have access to the full 20-weapon arsenal split across Sluggas, Shootas, Boomstikks, Rokkit Launchas, and Burnas, purchased at Mek Shops using Teef, the in-game currency you farm off everything that moves. The WAAAGH meter fills as you kill, and when it maxes out your fire rate spikes. It is a simple mechanical idea and it works every single time. Gunplay feels crisp and impactful. Headshots on Imperial Guardsmen send them slumping in a spray of cartoonish blood, and the hand-drawn art style commits fully to that Looney Tunes-on-promethium aesthetic. Enemies on fire flail and collapse into blackened silhouettes. It is gory and it is funny and the heavy metal soundtrack keeps the energy from dipping between encounters. Where things get wobbly is melee: for a race famously obsessed with hitting things with large blunt objects, the melee attacks feel noticeably floaty against the punchy gunplay. The checkpoint spacing is also genuinely uneven in places, and healing relies on Squigs that spawn sporadically across levels, which can feel more random than difficult when you hit a wall. Boss fights are the real test, multi-phase and appropriately oversized, and they are where most deaths will happen on a first run. The PvP mode offers Deathmatch, King of the Hill, and Juggernaut for up to four players online or local, and while it is not deep enough to hold a competitive crowd, it is a solid extra for a couch session. The campaign itself runs roughly three hours solo, which is the number most critics and players agree on. That is short. Solo players will chew through it in an afternoon and have limited reason to return beyond replaying with a different class loadout. The honest play here is co-op with two to four people, where the on-screen chaos scales up in a way that makes the brevity feel like a feature rather than a flaw. Lore newcomers may also bounce off the Orkish dialect (full Cockney, no apology), but anyone who has spent time in the 40K universe will find the references and cutscene humor land consistently.

Fred · Scout Team

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