Bum Simulator

I went into Bum Simulator expecting five minutes of toilet humor and a refund request. What I got instead was a surprisingly layered first-person sandbox with a hunger-thirst loop, a base-building progression tree, a skill upgrade system, and a pigeon combat mechanic that somehow ties all of it together. The setup drops you on the streets of Bumsville with a sentient shopping cart named Carl Cartman as your only companion - both of you experimented on by the evil Evilway corporation. That premise is dumb on purpose, and the game is smart enough to know it. The mechanical skeleton here is more substantive than the title implies. You manage hunger, thirst, and health in real time, scavenging through trash cans, buying from vendors, or growing vegetables in your base once you unlock garden pots. Base-building starts with a cardboard sleeping bag and a broken pigeon coop, then scales up through workbenches, smelters, and defensive landmines - because rival bum gang raids on your territory are a genuine threat that gets harder as you expand. The crafting tree spans wood-tier structures all the way to multi-base setups with automated scavenger recruits. That progression loop is more coherent than critics give it credit for. The skill system covers survivability, Carl's movement speed, combat damage output, and crafting efficiency, which means there are actual build decisions to make across a playthrough. Combat runs through three pigeon variants - Shuriken, Pigeonado, and Peckers - each upgradeable through the coop. Throwing an explosive-upgraded bird into a gang of thugs is genuinely funny the first half-dozen times, and the Pigeonado fully upgraded is the kind of ridiculous ability that makes sandbox games worth playing. Alchemy adds a secondary combat option: mix alcohol with street debris to create throwable mixtures or stat-boosting drinks. Reviewers noted the alchemy system underdelivers in practice, and the combat AI is shallow enough that you will not be strategizing over encounter builds. This is not a deep combat game. But for what it is - a chaos-first playground with occasional mission structure - it holds together. The honest criticism is real, though. Playtime runs under ten hours for the main story, the open world is small, and repetition sets in during the back half as the quest variety thins out. Console players have also flagged genuine control scheme problems, with the sprint and aim buttons conflicting in specific challenge scenarios - the PC version is the safer platform choice. The game has not received updates since 2023, which means any lingering bugs are likely permanent fixtures. Community sentiment does flag the subject matter itself as something not everyone will find funny, so walk in with eyes open on that front. For players who like their sandboxes anarchic and low-stakes - think Goat Simulator energy but with slightly more systems to poke at - Bum Simulator punches above its weight. The full voice cast, the self-aware humor that winks at the publisher, the 105 achievements for completionists, and a crafting loop that actually produces meaningful upgrades all add up to something more earnest than the box art suggests. Just do not expect the breadth of a full open-world survival game, and play it on PC.

Diego · Scout Team

Strategy & simulation

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