Cutthroat Gunboat

I cover shooters for a living and I still flinch when a game ships in 2017 with zero online multiplayer. That is the first and loudest thing you need to hear about Cutthroat Gunboat before anything else. No matchmaking, no netcode to scrutinize, no ranked to grind past platinum. This is strictly a couch game, and if you cannot fill a couch, close the tab now. For those who can fill the couch: here is what you are getting. Up to four players pilot pirate ships across arena maps, trading cannon fire in free-for-all or team formats. The combat is skillshot-based, meaning you are actually aiming projectiles rather than pointing and clicking a hitscan cursor, which gives it a physicality that keeps early sessions honest. Ships handle with deliberate inertia, so positioning and angle management matter. Power-ups drop across each map, covering weapons and health kits, and the arena hazards layer in enough chaos to keep any single round from feeling like pure execution practice. Matches clock in well under five minutes, which is exactly the right length for a couch rotation. The skill ceiling is real, if modest. Cannon lead times, map obstacle routing, and power-up timing create a loop where a good player can consistently outperform a button-masher. That said, the game is narrow. There are no unlockable ships, no progression hooks, no ranked structure. What you see on session one is the complete product. For a weekend party game at a sub-five-dollar price point, that is probably fine. As a long-term investment it is not. The Steam review pool is tiny but entirely positive, which tells you the people who found this game liked it, not that a lot of people found it. Hardware note worth flagging: controllers are not optional, they are mandatory, and there are reported issues with certain Xbox 360 controllers being misread by the game's input system. Sort your controller situation before you start the session, or the pregame setup becomes the whole night. Remote Play Together support is listed, which theoretically opens a door to online play via Steam's streaming layer, though it was not designed with online in mind and your mileage there will vary with connection quality. Bottom line: this is a micro-budget local brawler with a clean mechanical hook and absolutely nothing surrounding it. If you have three friends, a couch, and controllers already paired, it punches above its price. If you are buying this solo with vague intentions of playing it online someday, it will sit unplayed in your library next to every other good idea you had at 2 AM.

Fred · Scout Team

Shooters

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